The weekend pump started last night with Farmhouse Cooler fete down on the boardwalk in Chaguaramas. This was my second year at Farmhouse and I was interested to see if the fete would live up to the hype and its stellar performance from 2019.

The biggest problem with any fete down on the peninsula is traffic and it seemed to have started from the Westmoorings traffic lights. As usual when I see traffic I always assume that everyone is going where I’m going. So naturally I was cussing this fire-trucking, mother-condense-milk Farmhouse traffic but in actuality it was just another instance of intelligence-led policing.

The party started at 4pm and if you got there after 6pm parking was a scene. This is no surprise though seeing that the party is down Chaguaramas and everyone knows the CDA does wreck more cars than Brooke Forrester does wreck marriages.

From the time the shuttles from the various parking locations dropped you at the entrance you could feel the energy, or maybe that was just my excitement at feting during the week knowing that I have no work the next day as I’m on vacation.

The first thing I noticed on entry, apart from all the hot woman, was how much bigger Farmhouse has gotten. Farmhouse like it was in the gym whole year and was taking anabolic steroids, creatine and fried plantain. If you don’t know, fried plantain makes you thick but in all the right places.

If you didn’t have a cooler then no worries, Farmhouse has bars for you to buy drinks and a free tequila station if you wanted to live life on the edge. There was also food on sale for those who needed to sober up to drive or just like to take in saturated fat late at night.

Farmhouse is one of those fetes where you see people you haven’t seen since, well, the last Farmhouse. You spend the entire fete using that line from Nadia’s song, “so long I ain’t see yuh” and if the person is not totally buss, “give me a wine, gih gih gih give me a wine”.

One padna referred to the fete as “red woman heaven”, which was totally accurate. I thought I died and went to wherever Satan resides because of the amount hot red woman in the crowd but I had to remind myself it’s just Trini Carnival.

Farmhouse usually has one or two performances and this year they brought Voice, Lyrikal and Skinny Fabulous. Well at least that’s what I remember from my gin induced consciousness. It wasn’t mauby I was drinking.

I do remember there was an almond tree but the branches were way too high for any encore TANA Rise ‘N Roast performance. Which is just as well because the Hendrick’s and tonic I was mixing in my TANA’s Log enamel cup (shameless plug) was packing a wallop.

Apparently Beachhouse also had a party in the same area last night but from the crowd at Farmhouse I’m not sure who would have been at that party.

Anyway, time to wrap this up. Judging from my general euphoria and continued inebriation after hours of sleep, on Carnival Thursday you should be planning to go Farmhouse cooler fete.

Ok, time to rest up and prep the cooler for the next cooler fete this evening.


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