Having bonded with you all over the last 11 months of this Log I decided that this Carnival I would try feting down South for a change to appease you Southies. In preparation, I made sure I chose a proper fete (illuSions Black 2 Blue aka B2B) and I applied early so that, once I was able to prove that I had close ties to the North, I was able to obtain my “veezay” without a hitch. The first thing we organized was a maxi because who knew what the heck a “Tarouba” was.

Fast forward past the usual waiting for people to show up at various times past the agreed 2:30am meeting time for the maxi, when we finally reached the venue there was an aura of excitement. We got there fairly early as the guy who organized everything likes to open parties, you know, he reaches when the cleaning staff still sweeping up and putting up signs. However, the amount of cars in the carpark when we arrived looked like either the fete started the day before or people went straight from work.

Apart from the usual Campari and White Oak stations there was a Trojan Condom booth and barbershop next to each other. South does really do it different yes. You literally could take a fresh trim and “wrap-it-up” in like 10 mins.

B2B featured a huge food section where they provided all kinds of “breakfast-es”. The options ranged from doubles to KFC to roast pork, stew pork, waffles, corn soup, sada with whatever your hearts desire of sides and roti with your choice of dead animal meat. It felt like an all-inclusive but I knew I only paid $250 so I hustled to take advantage before the promoters realized. As a pescatarian rasta who trying to fit into a Tribe costume, a two doubles was the best of the options I had.

On top of the breakfast options like whoa, B2B had lots of performances. First up was Nadia Batson wearing hot shorts made of the same material from Swappi gold pants from last year. I is a man don’t fight out of my weight class eh but 2020 Nadia is a bess slim-thick that I would clog my arteries for. Nadie brought on the people’s champion of Brooklyn, Lyrikal to perform his monster tune on the Darkseid riddim aka the Problem Child Nasty Behavior riddim.

Swappi followed with his big tunes for the Carnival. It was at this point I realized that right now Swappi is more like Shadow than Shadow’s son. When I think how I’ve witnessed Swappi’s career flourish from the beginning I feel like a proud absentee step-child-father who don’t pay maintenance and hiding from the courts.

Preedy came on with a lot of fanfare. Though I didn’t know much of his offerings for this year he’s always one of my favs as I like his vibe. He’s definitely one to carry the soca torch in the future. My wife loves him as well because he’s from East of the lighthouse like her. Motto was up next and he had the crowd moving as usual.

The party had plenty vibes but to be totally off the chain it was missing something. It seems like it was begging for a water session. One water hose or rain shower or Iwer and a few Blue Waters bottles woulda light the tinder box.

When I thought B2B was done with performances, Machel came on to his song Stink Behavior, which reminded me of what apparently took place in the port-a-potties at the back. I almost called the paramedics the first time I went to use the facilities because clearly somebody in the fete was dying.

The lowlight of Machel’s performance was two men fighting each other to take from a woman the jacket that Machel threw into the crowd. The man who won the fight was proudly displaying the jacket while nursing a buss head. In hindsight, there was no winner there. Except for Voice who showed up right after Machel, and his woman who was at the fete and clearly is the real Monarch with she hot self.

South like they take this weed decriminalization to a different level. The amount of weed smoking was going on, I swear people moving like they living at the stadium and consuming their 30g all at once. I hope my employer doesn’t do random testing this week as I think I got contaminated by the second hand smoke from all those female plants.

As promised when the DJs played the dancehall “too-doo” music I took a knee. The ride back to the North was a blur though I remember seeing White Walkers and a red witch. All in all it wasn’t a bad foray into the South carnival fete scene. Maybe in the future I would venture down there more often once I learn their language and how to use their currency.

TANA

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