So in the space of one weekend we had a “Zesser” party with hundreds of people being arrested for breaching public health regulations and a “Wesser”, big sawatee, high brow, wedding with valet parking in an affluent area where because it was private property and nobody was charged an admission fee it was deemed a “cool scene”.

Some may say that this is just the latest evidence that Covid-19 is an elitist disease that only goes after people who “zessing” and not those who “wessing”. However, I have a different take. Listen, Covid-19 is clearly not a stupid disease. Covid-19 apparently went to a good primary school, wear out his Nelson’s West Indian Reader learning the basics, pass Common Entrance for a big secondary school on upper Frederick Street and use GATE to get 23 degrees including Epidemiology, roti wrapping and pastelle pressing.

For instance, we already know that earlier this year Covid-19 knew elections were too important to humans therefore there was no way it infected anyone either during campaigning or voting. We also know that Covid-19 can distinguish between 10 people congregating versus 11 and it knows how to conduct itself accordingly. We know that Covid-19 will ketch you if you’re inside a bar liming but if you lime on the pavement in front of the same bar you are totally safe. If that is not enough proof we also have the fact that Covid-19 knows not to infect family members or work colleagues hence why people don’t wear their masks in those situations.

So is it so hard to believe that Covid-19 prefers to attend a “Zesser” party where there is level vibes and atmosphere versus a “Wesser” wedding where there is real pomp, ceremony and boring stoosh vibes? Allyuh really feel Covid-19 want to hear Luthor Vandross wedding song whole night or see people doing the electric slide like some kind of weird country music line dancing? I do think Covid-19 DOES NOT want to see tight fitting clothes on poorly shaped human bodies but sadly it will get that at both events.

Some people (scientists mainly) say it doesn’t matter who you are or where you are, if you jackass d scene, Covid-19 will jam you (I’m paraphrasing). Clearly that isn’t the case or else our leaders and those in authority would have made sure that public or private, rich or poor, “dotish” or smart, the laws are the same and enforced the same. Speaking of dotish, I have a “padna” in a football chat that was upset that there was no word by the PM on sporting activities at the last press conference but was asking if we should go ahead to organize the Christmas morning lime and drink up even if we can’t sweat.

I feel I am the dotish one because to me complying with these public health measures is not about seeing how much I could get away with, it’s about staying healthy and staying alive. I have friends who have had Covid-19 and they wouldn’t wish it on their worst enemy, except maybe people who like that “pesheng-weng-weng” gobar tune.

As we go into the festive holiday season just remember, Covid-19 likes to lime and parang. This Covid-19 bloke is a bess limer and pumper who would storm any fete, gathering, “Zesser” party, “Wesser” wedding, beach lime, Tobago run, Double Palm rendezvous or church service. So if you decide “to H-E-double-hockey-sticks with the public health measures” and that you’re going to celebrate the season like normal, my advice is to do so very heartily because for some of you it may be your last.

TANA

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