As of Monday December 23, 2019, marijuana will be decriminalized and all and sundry will be able to light up without worry. Judging from the posts on the interwebs and the many discussions with people it appears as though there will be a cloud of smoke over Trinidad visible from space. Chritmas lunch with people in-laws should be epic.

Let me just say that I am not against the decriminalization of the Mary Jane. As a young man I dabbled like most adolescents but I quickly realized that falling down and butting up my head on a pavement or speaking incoherent gibberish and ending sentences with “heights” and pointing to my forehead was not for me.

I am also not against the use of ganja itself especially for medicinal purposes. Some of my best friends have been using it for medicinal purposes for years. Not medicinal as in treating a terminal illness, more like a daily multivitamin in “pre-anticipation” of getting any kind of serious malady.

My understanding of the law is that you’re only allowed to smoke in private dwellings or structures that are not commercial buildings. I’m not sure whether you could legally do it at the popular “ketch it” spots like your neighborhood pavilion or park bench. You’re also not allowed to smoke near a school or playground….that sucks because I’m sure there are teachers that need it to deal with some of them monsters.

However, this new law will have no impact on the construction industry. I mean everyone knows that one of the main ingredients in mixing cement is the occasional weed smoke. If you’ve ever done any kind of work in your house you know that walls can’t get plastered or the metal won’t weld together properly if men can’t pull on some “inspiration” during the day.

My concern is for the people working in the service industry. Some of them already move like they need worming. Instead of the “devil’s lettuce” they should be ingesting Zentel like Smarties. Could you imagine how much slower some of them people in government offices would be moving if they light up before they left home? If I have to hear miss lady behind the counter say “you want that sandwich toasted?” any slower I might jump the counter and make it myself. The time some of them already taking just to make me a salad I could probably go home and grow my own.

This should be fairly obvious but I’ll say it again, all smoke is bad for your lungs. ALL. Whether it’s from cigarettes, wood, bush fire, weed or sucking on a Ford Cortina tailpipe, toxins and carcinogens are released from the combustion of materials. However it seems as though the only way Trinis know how to partake in the herb is to smoke it. I am seriously concerned by the fact there isn’t any campaign to educate people on the healthier ways of partaking in the herb such as a weed macaroni pie or Cannabis and rice instead of Bhagi. I mean, who wouldn’t want to eat a bake and shark with mango, tamarind sauce and slight Cannabis?

Anyway the powers that be know better than me how these things should be done but in the spirit of decriminalization, I just have a few suggestions to Make Trinidad Great Again (MTGA)…yeah I need to work on the acronym.

I humbly think they need to decriminalize me slapping able bodied people who park in a handicap spot. They need to decriminalize me tripping your unruly child who running up and down in the mall food court and keep touching my table. This one might be extreme but they need to decriminalize me bouncing down people who decide to run across the highway under the walkover.

Finally, and this one is a true public service, they need to criminalize Blaxx getting bareback on stage because while I love him as an entertainer, nobody needs to see that.


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