Watch yuh meat

Watch yuh meat


Folks, today marks my one year anniversary of becoming a pescatarian. For those that don’t know that’s not some weird cult or political party, even though some people could be just annoying with it, no it’s a person who does not eat meat but still eats fish and seafood. My diet is essentially plant based but sometimes I just hadda have that bit of flesh nah, like a recovering Zombie or a vampire like Queen Elizabeth who I believe is a part of Viktor’s vampire coven that Selene and the Lycans were fighting.

This is a particularly tremendous achievement for me seeing that not long ago I would say the only thing green I consume is Heineken. Yes yes smarty pants I know the BOTTLE is green but the beer is regular color. I was also of the opinion that a meal was not complete if it didn’t include meat and I would make fun of people with their meat substitutes. Oh how the tables have turned. Here’s my story, maybe it would help someone make a change to try to live a longer, cleaner life and for the rest…well….old age is overrated anyway and who doesn’t want to spend-out their pension money in medication?

So for years my better half had given up meat and, to her credit, she wasn’t one of these annoying vegans/vegetarians/condescending clowns. I on the other hand would wave my meat (stop it!…this is a family page) in her face and ask if she was sure she didn’t want a taste. In the early days, one year into her meatless-ness, she had a moment of weakness where she couldn’t resist her sister’s giant homemade burger patty and decided against all our advice to say “fire-truck it” and have it anyway. Obviously her body couldn’t handle the shock and, as predicted, she was left hugging the porcelain throne, making noises that sounded like she was summoning our imaginary friend that only shows up when we’re either sick or drunk…”Raaalph!!”

Back to the real story. On November 10, 2019 I decided to watch a Netflix documentary called The Game Changers. The same documentary the old “ball and chain” kept harassing me to watch for weeks. By the time I reached half way through it I had already made the decision that I would give up “my meat” from the following day and I have been meatless ever since. You see, a couple months prior I had received the results of my annual medical where, apart from rudely telling me I was 30 lbs overweight, the Dr. told me my cholesterol was higher than the PM’s blood pressure when he relaxes Covid measures and then sees people “jackassing the scene”.

I had already started intermittent fasting to rectify my second trimester physique but after watching the documentary I finally understood how damaging meat is to the human body. I won’t get into all the details because you could watch it yourself but I will talk about the results of the change. Intermittent fasting helped me to effortlessly drop 20 lbs in two months. However, giving up meat dropped my cholesterol by 100 points. Yeah…so you could imagine what it was before. It also cured my Gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD aka acid reflux), joint pains and other meat related maladies. It made me stronger, faster, smarter and more attractive. Just kidding, it isn’t humanly possibly for me to get more attractive than I am now. My sense of humor is extremely healthy as well.

Anyway, this post is part of my own personal celebration and also to tell people that living the vegetarian/pescatarian life is not only good for your health but it is actually enjoyable. There are a whole host of meat substitutes now made from plants that taste just as good and are way better for your body. I will admit I do miss a beef pelau now and again because as anyone who knows me would tell you, in the past I woulda trade my wife for a good pelau, good ting I give up meat yes.

TANA

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