The Ministry of Health started their first come, first served, walk-in system and surprise surprise it’s pandemonium outside every location administering the vaccine. From all reports the lines long like the preamble to any Covid update press conference lead by the PM. Lines longer than a budget speech or the slow cashier in Pricesmart who need about 10 Zentel.

Now you might ask yourself why is this happening, because the walk-in system only applies to those meeting the criteria for the current phase of the rollout, namely those “over 60 years old with or without NCDs and those under 60 with NCDs”. However, what the MOH never factors in are those in a third group, you know….those who “don’t follow instructions, always trying to get through, can’t line up, or generally do whatever they feel like when they feel like”.

Meanwhile people like me are patiently waiting for their turn in this “phased rollout”. My problem is I’m too young for the 60 year old cutoff and I don’t have any NCDs. Apparently they’re accepting people who suffer with obesity, not that it’s a NCD but it’s a risk factor for severe Covid infection. My problem is that while I’m fat, I’m not fat enough to count as obese. I need to bulk up. More whole pizzas and coconut bake and less veggies and tofu.

Granted people continue to get conflicting information. The MOH says one thing, the people making appointments say something completely different, when you get to the Health Centers they have their own rules. No wonder the scene outside the Health Centers is like Thunderdome where it’s every granny, tanty, uncle, smart-man and smart-gyal for themselves. One person suggested to me that maybe people don’t know what an NCD is. To that I say, if as a big man or woman in this pandemic you don’t know what a Non-Communicable Disease is and don’t know how to use Google or phone a friend, then you’re lining up for the wrong vaccine. They haven’t developed a vaccine against dotish and ignorance yet.

There are people out here blaming the government and more specifically Terry D for the mess this rollout has been. I agree 100% that some things could be better such as why in 2021 you decide to use a phone system and WhatsApp to manage an appointment system or why are there mixed messages from those in leadership or why they didn’t get Pennywise workers to manage the lines because nobody going against them sour faces.

However, I do think it doesn’t matter what they do, Trinis will find a way to not follow instructions and act powerful dotish. Trinis need to take personal responsibility and stop blaming the government or anyone else for the fact that they are lawless and corrupt. You can’t wait your turn and allow those more at risk to have easy access to a lifesaving vaccine?? Then you will turn around and complain about corruption in the country and the people who use their “links” to get through with Carnival costume, fete tickets or government contracts.

Since the first vaccine rollout began a number of persons have reached out to me basically telling me how to beat the system and some even told me that I’m basically being a fool for following the rules. The fact is, I am fully capable of making some calls and getting the vaccine of my choice at more than one location but I EH DOING DAT. As I’ve said before, the people who doing everything in their power to jump the line and get a vaccine are the same ones not to trust in a zombie apocalypse. They out here for themselves and will sell you out to Negan, steal your food, take your weapons and trip you when allyuh running from the zombie hoard. Basically these people are Eugene from The Walking Dead.

The silver lining is that there seems to be widespread vaccine acceptance. This is a good sign as we look to end this pandemic and get on with life. So if you’re one of the lucky ones that are genuinely part of this rollout phase, then ‘may the odds be ever in your favor’ as you navigate through Mordor to get your vaccine amidst the Ork army of those who trying to game the system. If you’re one of those using fake asthma, your athletes foot, the lota mark on your back to try to skip the line because you’re scared and selfish then shame on you. I hope you get explosive diarrhea and realize you have no toilet paper after you’ve already sat down.


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