Allyuh!!…something truly momentous is scheduled to happen this October month-end. No I’m not referring to the important Hindu festival of Divali which, even if you weren’t a Trini, you would have figured out is soon with the advent of all the Kurma vs Kumar memes or the Persad vs Parsad jokes.
No Loggers, I’m referring to the much touted occasion of the UK leaving the EU, known as Brexit. Now I know what you’re thinking, this ain’t funny, what’s with all this seriousness. Calm down, don’t get your bingo’s in a twist. I’ve decided to take a look at Brexit from a TANA’s Log perspective.
First here are the basics, and yuh might hadda hold some strain because this next paragraph could put you to sleep like warm milo and two Comtrex:
In 2016, the UK held a vote (referendum) on whether or not to leave the EU because of a number of reasons including issues with immigration, they wanted to protect their sovereignty, and a lot of anti-establishment sentiment. The Brexit side won 52% of the vote. Fast forward to now and the UK is due to leave the EU on Oct 31, 2019. It was supposed to happen in March 2019 and before that in November 2018.
So now let’s look at this from the angle of say if Tobago decided it was fed up of all the Trinis coming over and disrupting their lives. You know…they find they shouldn’t have to talk to us in the grocery, we want to drive within the white lines on OUR side of the road and that we need to stay off Store Bay and leave them fellas on the beach to pull-in their middle-aged German-ladies-with-dreadlocks, in peace.
So maybe one day they take a vote and the majority decide “hey we want to be free to decide our own destiny, so we’re leaving the Trinidad and Tobago Union”. So Trinidad says “no scene ‘bago, lemme just dust off this agreement we had when we shack up together, and yuh did say I was the best man yuh ever had and yuh friend Lydia just jealous, and see what it says”.
Trinidad then says to ‘bago “it’s not so easy miss lady. You have to make a $50 billion divorce payment for all the effort we put in over the years into understanding your accent. Plus you have to figure out what happening to all the ‘bagonians working here without a permit, some of them even in politics. Then you have to understand that we don’t trust the same non-Trini toolum, “tambran” and bene-balls we’ve been buying for years so we’ll have to put some tariffs on that. Oh….and you have two years to get yourself together”. Which is basically what the EU told the UK.
At this point Bon Accord jumps up and says “hold up! we didn’t vote to leave. We love Trinis, it’s them people in Scarborough who want to leave.” Which is what Northern Ireland told the UK. But ‘bago is like “you could stay in the Union, but we don’t want no border check point between Bon Accord and the People’s Republic of Tobago”. Which is what the UK replied to Northern Ireland.
Now this is where all hell breaks loose and nobody can agree. Between politicians swimming to the mainland and Sargassum seaweed invading from the east, everything has gotten delayed until this October.
And here we are my friends. So apparently the EU and UK have a deal which the UK parliament has to vote on tomorrow or else it gets delayed again until January 2020. I didn’t even get into all the muppets involved in reaching this point. There was a Tony, a David, a Theresa, a Nigel, a Boris and quite a few others.
Not important. My concern is, can I still go over to Tobago and while I’m there would I need a visa to cross over and go Charlotteville? Either way Trinidad better negotiate to keep the dude from Black Panther in the divorce.