And just like that…poof…the account number was provided at 3:20pm yesterday…like magic…Criss Angel style not Magic Johnson.

Actually no, the dude who facilitated the transaction reached out after my irate WhatsApp message to him yesterday morning. I ain’t want to air the bank’s sordid knickers in public but it had something to do with Covid, them “working” from home, then coming back to a backlog and prioritizing other transactions above account openings. They gave me the choice of either receiving the account number by the end of day yesterday and keeping the account OR they could close the account as per my instructions.

I listened intently all the while thinking that’s all well and good but I don’t care. I didn’t understand why he was telling me all that like it’s “affairs of the heart”. The bank needs to buy a diary or update their Facebook stories with all these “feelings” they pushing. I made it clear that none of that excuses them not communicating to me about the situation.

Hear the thing local businesses don’t realize… things happen, we all know this. If a company like Amazon could make a mistake then who is you with your little parlor making loans and selling kiss cake. The difference is that Amazon is all about customer service. They communicate quickly and solve your issue immediately. I once receive two bottles of vitamins from Amazon one of which was more like a bottle of Nickelodeon slime. I complained to Amazon and without even seeing the bottle they refunded me the entire purchase amount and told me to keep the good bottle. If that was a local company they woulda tell me to roll the slime into little balls, use it and don’t call back here again.

Now why is it that I had to get on like a grade A “tun-tun” to get proper service? I’m a reasonable man, we all dealing with the effects of Covid, all they had to do was talk to me. Some free products and a discount woulda go along way. Oh wait that’s right…banks don’t do that! They screw up and then it just sucks to be you. They make customers suffer while they “investigate”. Ask anyone who has had their card skimmed…like this guy (I’m pointing at me).

Anyway, the outcome of the whole debacle is that I’m keeping the account. I mean yeah I’m angry at the level of service but I ain’t “dotish”. I’m not giving up a potential return over the long term of at least 20% because I want to sit on some high horse.

Speaking of horses, didn’t we get some Dutch horses to do crowd control??


Where were they over the last few days? Those specialist riot equines were probably in their stables in the barracks thinking this was their big break. Nope…Next time Seabiscuit. Next time you’ll get your chance to head down in the “Lots” and show them who’s boss.

The news better bring that coverage.


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