For a while now I’ve been seeing memes and posts about some young lady who decided to use Gorilla Glue to help keep her hair in place. I had no idea the details behind the story since I’m not on Tik Tok, Snapchat or any of them million other social media platforms. Yeah, I’m a dinosaur (Veliseraptor given my diminutive stature).

So yesterday I see miss lady initial video about the situation and another story that some good Samaritan doctor decided to help her free of charge. I real happy that homeboy invented a technique to remove said adhesive from her head. That could only be useful in the future for normal, everyday scenarios. In fact, I hear Gorilla Glue in talks to work with this bloke, which makes sense.

However, as I’ve said on my personal page, if it was me I was leaving her with that Gorilla Glue helmet. I mean it’s only February and she’s the front-runner for the prestigious (because I invented it and said so) 2021 Youz Ah C*nt Or Wah Award (YACOW)…patent pending. Now don’t get all activist on me, the initialization forms an unfortunate word that has nothing to do with gender.

There are plenty male YACOW contenders out here. For instance the dude that wrote the Newsday article giving safety tips for women and speaking about women need to watch what they wear. What kind of 1950s, knuckle-dragging, Neanderthal, cave man thinking is that? Youz A ____ Or Wah….YACOW!

Meanwhile back at the ranch…

So miss lady with the Glue Dome say she rocking that hairstyle for about a month and not by choice. Of course it was by choice. You ever see them selling Gorilla Glue spray in Pennywise? If you can’t ask for it from behind the counter in Pennywise and get a healthy dose of sour face and judgment then it’s not a legit beauty product. That’s just facts.

A friend suggested that the doctor that helped her should have shaved it off. Yeah that would make sense because I imagine the aftermath of removing it would look like a half sucked Bobbie chocolate that fall and roll on a carpet with dog hair. The problem is, that thing was probably too hard to shave, unless you shaving it with a HILTI.

I heard people saying she should sue Gorilla Glue because they never said it wasn’t to be used as hair spray. Personally I find if she sues then Gorilla Glue they should counter-sue her parents for making such a chupid, dotish child. She so go use WD-40 as a personal lubricant and cyah understand why she insides slipping out. She so go be using Duct Tape as pasties on Carnival Tuesday and want to know why she one nipple down when she remove it.

Anyway, the key takeaway here is that we are compiling a list for the brand new 2021 YACOW Award. Trust meh, someone hadda come real good to beat Gorilla Glue “Chupidee”.

TANA

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