The powers that be have announced that the relaxing of the restrictions on bars have been “unrelaxed” a bit. The authorities said they were forced to roll back the restrictions on bars like how Denise Belfon used to roll back her bumper for her trademark bicycle wine in her prime. This was because bars and patrons have been flouting the pandemic precautions and operating like “Covid done” and it’s business as usual.

Business as usual for bars means keeping beers cold-ish and liquor watered down and for patrons it means avoiding stepping in pavement urine and the inevitable “surprise” police roadblock.

The bar flies were so excited about their favorite watering hole opening up again they were “lay laying they bam bam” all over the place without paying any mind to Covid precautions. So now all “ka ka lay laying” have to stop by 8PM instead of 10PM and there will be strict enforcement of the no more than 25 patrons at a time inside the establishment.

I’ve never been a bar owner but I’ve been to a few bars and have been carried home from quite a few which I believe is all the qualifications I need to have an opinion on the matter.

So here’s what I studying:

If bars are only allowed to open from 8AM to 8PM, does that mean we now have institutionalized day-time drinking? I mean, would I be called into HR for supporting the local bars…say…on my lunch hour(s). Would society view me differently if they were to see me chasing down Stag with some White Oak at say…8am on a random Tuesday? If so then in effect bars only open to the working population, the demographic that quite frankly needs it the most, from 4PM to 8PM.

I’m not sure how forcing all the functioning alcoholics in the country to cram their inebriation into a shorter timeframe is going to make for moderation or smarter social distancing decisions but hey I’m just versed in gin and vodka not epidemiology and public policy.

Speaking of policy, I see there was this huge uproar when persons thought one restaurant was charging patrons 2.5% of their bill for the PPE they have to purchase to keep customers and themselves safe. Apparently the whole hullabaloo was a big misunderstanding with the 2.5% being for curbside service during the time of Covid restrictions which they said they inadvertently forgot to remove from the current printed bills.

According to the restaurant they’ve already reverted to their pre-Covid service charge of 12.5% and now because of the people that don’t even patronize the establishment (my words) complaining they’ve reduced it to 10%. Who says bitching and moaning by keyboard warriors who don’t have a horse in the race never amounts to anything?

So the bars and customers over-do, the restaurant critics over-do, I over-do with the gin and injure my Rhomboid muscle (look it up), the rain over do, the Saharan dust and Covid over-do, Saucy over-do in that 1991 Sunday Punch photoshoot, and the police over-do this weekend with the 10,000 roadblocks across the country but let me not go there because we know the boss does monitor social media.

This week T&T…try to under-do or just do…ok “doo-doo”.


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