Carnival 2021 could Wok

Carnival 2021 could Wok


Winston “Gypsy” Peters recently said that the NCC would make a decision on Carnival 2021 within the next 90 days. Foolish me thought that given the current state of affairs, you know…with the presently incurable killer disease and the country having no money nah…that having Carnival might be a scene. Then again, people hardly dying and we done running a $15.5 billion deficit, so what’s another hundred million.

Initially I was like “what uncle Gypsy smoking and more importantly, could I get it in a brownie?” but upon further reflection during my insomnia, I figured with a few adjustments this could actually work.

Band launch is nothing more than people playing dress-up and little chirren vomiting down the place. There are people already doing that at home now. Although, if the band launch models have my level of discipline this might be the “frompiest” band launch in history. You can’t be cooking right-thru like you’re Wok with Yan, eating 67 snacks a day and expect to have abs. Trust meh, it don’t work.

As far as downpayment for costumes goes, don’t worry that people have no jobs or income, I’m sure they could use their salary grant and rent deferral cheques for that. If all else fails they could get one of them wine-and-jam loans from a certain finance company that charges about 4,000% interest.

Visitors to the island would need to plan to reach to T&T in December to cater for quarantine and the pesky two consecutive negative tests. Imagine reaching the Friday before Carnival and getting out of the Balandra facility half-way through lent. Or worse yet they send you to a facility that have a cockroach on yuh leg pelting jam.

For the fetes, they would definitely have to relax the no more than 5 people gathering restriction. Although even if they don’t relax that restriction, fetes like QOB Friday and Iwer Wednesday should be able to still happen. They could also have virtual fetes where you pay to log on to Zoom and party at home. I mean if people could pay to dress up in all white and carry their own drinks, food, utensils and tablecloths to a swanky fete then why not? You might have to do Soaka or iUP in your yard with the garden hose though. I think I need to talk to my producer about this idea for Feting with Tana.

The j’ouvert costumes should be lit. I could see instead of sailor mas the seniors coming out in full PPE kits. Those visors and goggles are the “ital” thing to protect against mud, oil and paint. I could see men moving around with nasopharyngeal swabs just sticking out their nose like it’s nobody’s business.

Social distancing is probably here to stay, so people need to get accustomed to wining 6-feet apart. We need to develop a system, like maybe a wink and a nod, so that people know who they’re actually wining with. That shouldn’t be a problem for people who usually play with Lost Tribe or Mc Farlane because with the amount of fabric in them costumes that’s the closest you could get.

Other bands might need to connect people by a 6-foot length of PVC or do like long time in PE class where you use an arm’s length between you and the next masquerader. The stoosh girls and dem who practicing social distancing in bands since the 1800s have this down to a science. The face masks should definitely help with the smell some people does be pushing at 8am on Carnival Tuesday.

I for one am looking forward to Carnival 2021, albeit remotely. Sure I won’t be on the road or in the fetes but hey I’ll be there in spirit. Much like some of those people who rushed to sign-up for that Carnival cruise next year. If it was me they couldn’t pay me to go down the islands much less cruise the open ocean in one of them floating petri dishes.

Anyway, Carnival 2021 should be lit, we just need a name: Corona-val…Carni-vid 20…don’t worry, we’ll come up with something.

TANA

Leave a Reply