Yo…all this talk about NIB has me wondering one thing, what’s your plan for retirement? Yes it’s you I’m talk to. While you’re sitting on the porcelain throne have you asked yourself if you would be able to mine your old ass when it’s time to stop sliding down poles for singles?

If your big plan is to rely on your children then think again. You feel your child have time to give you money for your Metformin and big people diapers when it have jam to pelt on boat ride? Plus who wants to be asking they child for money to hit a big sale on wheelchairs at AA Laquis.

Well some people are lucky enough to be eligible for a pension from their employer but they have no clue as to what that pension would afford them in their Golden Girls years…🎶thank you for being a friend🎶

It’s never too early to start planning for retirement but it can be too late, as in you’re retiring tomorrow and only now looking to see what you have under the mattress besides some old Cosmo magazines and Reader’s Digest.

Ask yourself, do you know what kind of pension plan your company has? Is it a defined benefit plan or a defined contribution plan? What’s even the difference? Would your pension, based on your final salary, be enough to live on? If it’s a defined contribution plan is your contribution matched by your employer? Can you make voluntary payments?

Well you might say I ain’t have none of that but I will get-by on my NIS pension. Well good luck with that. First of all, do you even know how many contributions you/your employer have made and how many you need to qualify for a pension? FYI you need 750 weekly contributions to qualify for an NIS pension and padna, if you fall short you might only be eligible for a one time lump sum payment, which you’ll probably spend “playing mark” or on some young big bottom gyal working in Ms Cheryl parlor. But let’s face it, that $3,000 from NIB aint taking you very far. These days that is probably one trip to Pricesmart and two Jamaican patties at Rituals.

The final thing you need to think about is what will your expenses be in retirement. If you own a house, would you have paid off your mortgage by then? Word of advice, no reasonable lender is going to give credit to a retiree so you need to organize your big expenses now and finish before you retire.  What about medication, them little blue pills expensive (so I’ve been told). Zebapique and Noni juice can’t fix everything. 

So you’re  probably wondering what’s point of all this other than Tana being bored on a Saturday morning. The point is you need to know where you are today when it comes to retirement. Speak to a financial advisor, check on your NIS contributions, and above all try to have as many sources of income in retirement because Junior not looking to mine your old ass when it have new Nike air “washy-kong” to buy. You also can’t be going around the place stealing people chickens.


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